Paradigm GIFT, or, Capital Transfer FACTS

<HollyhockGod> So, last week there was an incident.

<HollyhockGod> But whatever.

<HollyhockGod> This week you've been invited to a tea party held by the Power of Gifts.

<Sarabande> How nice! Nothing is likely to go wrong.

<HollyhockGod> But first! A dream sequence!

<HollyhockGod> You're swimming in a sea of delicious gold, skimming through coins like a flying fish who is also a duck.

<Sarabande> So, "a bee."

<HollyhockGod> I suppose that could be normal beehavior.

<HollyhockGod> I just wouldn't know.

<HollyhockGod> The world is confusing and life is like a hurricane.

<HollyhockGod> Anyway.

<HollyhockGod> You're doing the bee-stroke, or whatever the rest of you are doing, when suddenly a shadow looms over you.

<HollyhockGod> It is the shadow of Death, looming up before you just as Viola saw him doing before the whole neck snapping incident.

<HollyhockGod> In the darkness of his robes you see the lengthy debit column of your sins.

<Vauncey> Death is such a killjoy.

  • DukeGod has joined

<HollyhockGod> Black holes… bad fashion decisions… kicking puppies!

<DukeGod> NOT LATE!

<Vauncey> Did we kick a puppy?

<HollyhockGod> Evidently one of you did.

<Nomen> I did no such a thing; look to another.

<Vauncey> Hi Nomen! We are having a dream sequence in which the shadow of death shows us our sins.

<Vauncey> To get us to reform, I guess.

<Darryl_Collins> Now wait just one minute.

<Nomen> Waste of time, one of us took over Death

<Vauncey> Viola is not here today, we will let her deal with it.

  • Sarabande wishes to cooperate with this apparently licit tallying of sins.

<Darryl_Collins> Bad fashion decisions?

<Darryl_Collins> When?

<HollyhockGod> Look, I am just telling you what it says on the slate.

<Vauncey> I feel like we did some good stuff. Maybe we need to review the metric being used to assess our actions.

<Nomen> Eehehe, you said Ass.

<Vauncey> Not in a dream, though, dreams are weird.

<HollyhockGod> Anyway, the hovering spectre of Death pauses, then totters.

<HollyhockGod> As though somebody had cracked his spine or something.

<HollyhockGod> He flutters and falls like somebody dropping a curtain to the ground.

<HollyhockGod> The sun shines! Birds sing! You frolic in your crock o' gold.

<HollyhockGod> And yet…

<Nomen> The sun shines? NOT IN MY CHANCEL.

<HollyhockGod> You still feel the weight of all those terrible sins, as though they were still written on the air in weird air-chalk.

<HollyhockGod> Nomen was late and thus this dream was not calculated for his sensibilities.

<HollyhockGod> Your sins! So… heavy… can't… breathe…

<Vauncey> We should probably try to give back to the community a bit, here. We have a lot more money than we expected for this fiscal year!

<HollyhockGod> (nomen can breathe fine he does not care)

<Vauncey> But it is hard to do that when people keep trying to kill us.

<Nomen> Why don't you give your sins to the community?

<HollyhockGod> Anyway, you wake up to realize that what is actually happen is that a shower lion has wandered in and is sleeping on top of you.

<Nomen> (Is that because I'm immortal or immoral?)

<Vauncey> Is the shower lion friendly now?

<Darryl_Collins> "Rufus!"

<HollyhockGod> Nomen: Yes.

<HollyhockGod> Vauncey: Yes.

<Nomen> Shower lions better be frinedly, I've decided to tame then

<Vauncey> I will pet the shower lion while gingerly attempting to move it, perhaps with the prospect of lion kibble or whatever it is friendly shower lions eat

<Nomen> All these swans have unnerved Nomen enough he decides this place needs some apex predators

  • Sarabande suddenly realises that they don't all sleep at once, so dreaming is weird.

<Nomen> Hey HG, did I lose my wouind of "loses things constantly"?

<HollyhockGod> Yeah.

<Nomen> excellent!

<Darryl_Collins> That is a pretty appropriate Wound to lose.

<HollyhockGod> And you've healed from being a dragon as well.

<Nomen> Oh good. I was going to need hands

<HollyhockGod> You were enjoying that Wound too much!

<Nomen> That is not quite truth

<HollyhockGod> I had to heal it for the sake of the world.

<Nomen> You just took it off cause you were afraid I wa going to forge another super powerful artifact

<HollyhockGod> Well, while you were healing, you lost the one you had. >_<

<HollyhockGod> How incredibly careless!

<Nomen> What, no I didn't.

<HollyhockGod> I am just telling you what it says on the slate.

<HollyhockGod> Anyway, you wake up from your nightmare of terrible sins to find someone bringing you the mail.

<Nomen> Goddamnit. I open a channel of communications to my sword

<HollyhockGod> It's in a box!

<Vauncey> Can someone else get the mail? I am feeding the shower lion.

<HollyhockGod> Fortunately you have servants who can read you the mail.

<Nomen> I go fetch my sword, screw the mail

<HollyhockGod> You're invited to a tea-and-cookies party at the home of Bright Defile, Power of Gifts.

<HollyhockGod> You don't know where the sword is.

<HollyhockGod> It is in a box somewhere.

<Darryl_Collins> Wait a second.

<Nomen> Damnit.

<Darryl_Collins> Are we allowed to accept gifts?

<Darryl_Collins> There might be a gift ban.

<Nomen> Well, IK guess we have another party to ruin

<HollyhockGod> Well, you're the ones who write the regulations.

<Vauncey> What terms are we on with Bright Defile?

<Vauncey> Gifts are often taxable, after all.

<HollyhockGod> You're only slightly familiar.

<HollyhockGod> Apparently he's some kind of creepy child?

<Darryl_Collins> Is he being claimed as a dependant by anyone?

<HollyhockGod> I don't think so!

<Darryl_Collins> Score

<Darryl_Collins> Anyway, we obviously have to attend.

<HollyhockGod> His return is apparently pretty meager.

<HollyhockGod> He's more the cause of gift tax in other people.

<Darryl_Collins> But I'm going to ask Nomen to please, please refrain from destroying anything unless it's an objectively good idea.

<Nomen> Nomen is designated paper wrap destroyer.

<Nomen> I check the news for tax evaders being caught on by police and stuff

<HollyhockGod> Millions of people have been arrested for tax evasion.

<Darryl_Collins> We're already starting on that good deed thing!

  • Nomen is happy like a man in a brothel.

<Darryl_Collins> The goodness is palpable!

<HollyhockGod> Economists are wondering how the nation will survive with so many additional people in courts and in prisons.

<Darryl_Collins> Sometimes goodness is not that good for the status quo.

<Nomen> Society will adjust.

<Nomen> Prolly will turn farmers into economist and stuff and use prisoners to farm.

<Vauncey> Yeah, let's try to play it low-key this time, even if people pick a fight with us

<Nomen> Well, I didn't really destroy anything last session so

<Sarabande> We've turned over a new leaf!

<Vauncey> Also, don't forget we're working on the moon! If anyone has any ideas for moon enhancement, try to remember them for later.

<Darryl_Collins> I'll bring a decanter full of the honey of introspection from the moon in progress as a gift.

<Vauncey> There was that shower scene.

<Vauncey> That was kind of weird.

<Sarabande> Honeycomb structure!

<Sarabande> It makes everything better.

<Nomen> Nothing happened in the shower scene

<HollyhockGod> Nomen destroyed my shipping walls.

<HollyhockGod> I have had to recreate them.

<Sarabande> If we get the chance, we'll help with designing a nice sturdy honeycomb internal structure for the moon.

<Sarabande> We do of course have time, we're an Aspect 3 Superior Swarm of Bees :-P

<Darryl_Collins> I would also like it if you could create some kind of monster bee aberration to maintain the new moon's core of honey made of introspection.

<Darryl_Collins> Otherwise it might run out ):

<HollyhockGod> That sounds like a good idea! Especially since you don't have a lot of time to avoid losing your jobs.

<Vauncey> We should try to hide some treasure on the moon, but we don't have that much to spare. I did hide easter eggs, though.

<HollyhockGod> But enough about that you have to go to the tea party.

<HollyhockGod> You take the bee-powered train to the address on the card.

<Nomen> I suppose we shouild leave for the tea party then

<Vauncey> Have we heard through the grapevine who else might be attending?

<HollyhockGod> You find a hole.

<HollyhockGod> It might just be you.

<Vauncey> Intimate!

<Vauncey> Is the hole the normal thing to be here?

<Darryl_Collins> "Go on, Vauncey. We haven't all day!"

<Vauncey> Fand lived in a hole, I guess.

<Vauncey> In that thing that didn't happen.

  • Vauncey goes on!
  • Darryl_Collins pops on in.

<HollyhockGod> You dive into the hole!





<HollyhockGod> My, this is quite a deep hole.

<Darryl_Collins> "I hope this wasn't a poor decision."

  • Sarabande is fine and will suffer no injury from falling.

<Sarabande> Because Sarabande can fly.

<HollyhockGod> You fall through dirt shafts and rock shafts, and occasionally pass caverns measureless to man.

<HollyhockGod> In one of them somebody might be building a suspicious palace, but it is soon gone.

<Nomen> Can I start playing Dwarf Fortress in my cellphone?

<HollyhockGod> Yes.

<HollyhockGod> Eventually you lose track of the sides of the shaft altogether.

<HollyhockGod> There is only blackness and the light of Nomen's smartphone.

<Vauncey> "I actually spent a few years falling down a hole back in the 50s," Vauncey reminisces. "The main difficulty is foraging."

  • Darryl_Collins pulls out his laptop and begins working on his spreadsheets.

<HollyhockGod> Eventually, it's hard to tell that you're falling at all.

  • Sarabande does the dance of "this may take a while, please wait"

<HollyhockGod> Perhaps you are merely encased in an endless inky void?

<Nomen> "If I had Noble Nemesis I could slash away the darkness!"

<HollyhockGod> So, you're a bit surprised when a young boy in party clothes and a straw hat wanders up from one side, walking on nothing like it was, well, something.

<Vauncey> Do Defile's property taxes indicate that he lives in a house, or just inside a giant hole? I presume the rates differ depending

  • Nomen pushes Darryl to see if he falls face first in the ground or just keeps floating

<HollyhockGod> "Good morning! No need to keep hovering in the air!"

<Darryl_Collins> "Do you mind, Nomen?"

<HollyhockGod> Darryl's face touches ground!

<Vauncey> Ah, there we are.

  • Sarabande keeps hovering in the air.

<HollyhockGod> You find that by acting as though there was ground… you discover that there sort of is.

<Sarabande> Politely, though.

<Nomen> "I had a good reason"

<HollyhockGod> The young person dances through the cloud of bees, giggling.

<Darryl_Collins> "That reason was indifferent at best, I think."

<HollyhockGod> "So… where shall we have tea? And *what* shall we have tea?"

  • Sarabande dances with him!
  • Vauncey touches down gently on one toe and approaches with a hand extended, all smiles. "It's good to see you again. You look well."

<Nomen> "Dealin with me that's practically a good one"

  • Vauncey does not put his hand into Sarabande, though, because that would be inappropriate.
  • Sarabande leaves an appropriate space so that handshakes don't feel like an invasion of personal space.

<HollyhockGod> "Indeed I do! And you haven't looked so fit in sixty years."

<HollyhockGod> You don't really remember knowing him that long ago, but them's the breaks of being Vauncey.

  • Vauncey chuckles good-naturedly, taking it in stride. "Work keeps me busy these days," he humblebrags. Or is it a bumblebrag, because of the bees? No, I guess not.

<HollyhockGod> "So… where ought we to take tea?" asks Bright Defile, waving a hand at the void

<Sarabande> "How many places could here be?"

<Nomen> "Wherever my sword is sounds like a good place"

<HollyhockGod> "Well, that one is easy, at least."

<HollyhockGod> Bright Defile removes his hat and pulls out a long red box wrapped in polka dots, and hands it to Nomen.

<Nomen> "Ah. Thank you kindly, Noblesse of Gifts"

  • Nomen REAPS the paper wrap.

<HollyhockGod> This box contains the magical sword, Noble Nemesis!

<HollyhockGod> "Happy birthday!"

<Nomen> "It's my birthday?"

  • Sarabande examines the sword, with which they are not familiar!

<HollyhockGod> "It is now!"

<HollyhockGod> He said, and began dancing again.

<Nomen> "Well, time kinda flies as as noble"

<HollyhockGod> It is a horribly magical and horribly-named sword made by Nomen to judge contests and slice miracles.

<HollyhockGod> It is also his only weakness!

<Sarabande> and we're all out of contests!

<Nomen> It can't really judge contests anymore, that was a temporary thing from Darryl

  • Vauncey chuckles cheerfully at the inverse regifting.

<HollyhockGod> "But seriously where do you want to have tea. I can't make suggestions; it's against the rules.

<Sarabande> "If nobody else has an idea, we would suggest somewhere cosy and familiar. A giant beehive should suffice."

<Nomen> "The old Hanging Gardens of babylion?"

<Darryl_Collins> (It can in fact still judge contests. I didn't make that temporary at all!)

<Vauncey> "Didn't they turn those into a mall?"

<Nomen> (Hmm…fine, just some extra power)

<Nomen> "Well, I have been wanting to time travel"

<Vauncey> "That sounds agreeable, then. It has been a while."

<HollyhockGod> "Hanging Gardens it is!"

<HollyhockGod> He pulls off the hat again and pulls out an endless stream of bricks and greenery, holding it over his head and jumping up and down while an entire wonder of the world flies out and assembles itself under you.

<Nomen> "The theory is almost solid. I create a black hole, and then a white hole, that is an anti-black hole, let both crash, and rip a wormhole. With some hope I can control it to make the passage towards a speciofic point in time"

<HollyhockGod> Also, a table set for tea for five.

  • Vauncey claps his hands together just once. "Ah, marvelous!"
  • Darryl_Collins sets out his jar of honey.

<Nomen> "Delightful place"

  • Nomen sits. And puts his elbows on the table

<Sarabande> hmm

<Sarabande> what's etiquette for a swarm of bees at a tea party?

<HollyhockGod> I presume you can make your own.

  • Sarabande places a few workers at appropriate places to pass things, and forms a mass of swarm to give people something to focus their attention on.

<Sarabande> the mass floats over a seat

<HollyhockGod> "So… it seems you've been quite busy lately!"

<HollyhockGod> "Killing death, and the moon, and so forth."

<Darryl_Collins> "Killing whom?"

<Nomen> "The moon is just fine"

<HollyhockGod> "Ah, well, rumors have been flying. Many of them about the eventual method of your execution! But rumor is like that."

<HollyhockGod> "Here, have a scone."

<HollyhockGod> He passes the scones to Nomen. There is a giant diamond on top of the piles of scones.

<Nomen> "The moon was actually stolen by the Robbers."

<HollyhockGod> Also, clotted cream.

<Nomen> (I technically did not lie!)

<HollyhockGod> "That sounds plausible!"

<Nomen> (The moon WAS stolen. After I destroyed it.)

<HollyhockGod> Technically correct. The best kind of correct.

  • Nomen eats his scone. He does a magic trick of prestidigitation to get the diamond in one of his pockets
  • Darryl_Collins offers Nomen some honey.
  • Sarabande eats the fruit from a scone (cake is less good for bees).

<Nomen> "Glad to see you don't hold grudges, Darryl."

  • Nomen drinks? The honey.

<HollyhockGod> "So, what next? Will you be collecting taxes on the stolen moon? It sounds like they could be pretty hefty."

  • Vauncey laughs congenially, but seems a tough embarrassed, as seems proper. "It's always busy at this time of year," he concedes, taking up his teacup and cradling it in both hands. "All in all I prefer not to be in the news, but I suppose there's no helping it. We've been working on closing off a few of those outstanding issues, but, well, people kept trying to kill us, you know how it is."

<Darryl_Collins> "Dear me, no. Instead we have initiated a moon-off."

<HollyhockGod> "If the matter isn't redressed, it could well attract the attention of the Unclean Kings."

<Nomen> "We're both building moons. Whoever's is best gets added to the sky. The loser gets his auctioned"

<HollyhockGod> "How very charitable! So, what's to be done about death, then? Are we auctioning that for charity, too?"

<Nomen> "Death's been taken care of."

  • Darryl_Collins looks around the table. "It has? I'm sorry, did I miss something?"
  • Vauncey taps a finger thoughtfully against his teacup. "I've been meaning to look into that, but it takes a goodly bit of time to work out the numbers for such things, and between the moon-off and the execution attempts, I've been fairly busy lately. Really, I wonder if we shouldn't look into some internships."

<Nomen> "You were drunk, Darryl."

  • Sarabande hums unhappily.

<Sarabande> "We prefer paid introductory jobs, ourselves. Internships are rather too… one-sided."

<HollyhockGod> "Ooo, that's a good idea. You should take an intern, and make them the new Death."

  • Darryl_Collins looks dubious. "What, you mean, put up posters in local colleges?"

<Nomen> "Taking over the domain of Death? There'd be too much repercussions"

  • Vauncey seems intrigued by the idea, despite his colleagues' skepticism. "Hmm, it might bear looking into."

<HollyhockGod> "Yeah! You'd find someone unspoiled, but willing to get their hands dirty."

<Darryl_Collins> "I suppose if it's properly regulated…"

<HollyhockGod> "I could do research if you like. It's in my bailiwick to locate people who are worthy of gifts."

<Sarabande> "We could work together on this, yes."

<Darryl_Collins> "And if they take too many liberties, there's always the swans."

  • Darryl_Collins shivers.

<Nomen> "Don't forget the lions we're training."

<HollyhockGod> "Speaking of gifts, I had this cask of wine lying around; do please take it off my hands."

<HollyhockGod> "And a ruby-studded lion collar!"

<Nomen> (I like this Power of Gifts!)

<Vauncey> Are we supposed to offer gifts in return?

<Vauncey> I didn't bring anything.

<HollyhockGod> He doesn't seem to mind.

<Vauncey> Ah, good.

<Darryl_Collins> I brought him this jar of honey!

<HollyhockGod> "How delightful!"

<Nomen> I need to get myself some more Bonds/Affliction points

<HollyhockGod> "Have a copy of the first American tax code autographed by Benjamin Franklin!"

<Darryl_Collins> "!"

  • Vauncey graciously accepts. "I would hate to impose upon you, but I would be quite interesting in what you might find out about the internship. We may or may not proceed with it, but it's good to keep one's options open."

<HollyhockGod> "Of course; just send me a prospectus detailing the character traits you prefer and I'll find the person you need."

<HollyhockGod> "Oh, but I have one other things to deliver to you."

<HollyhockGod> "Or rather, I need to deliver you to my brother so that he may deliver it."

  • Vauncey keeps a mental tabulation of the tax value of these gifts in the back of his mind. Better safe than sorry!

<Vauncey> Have I met his brother?

<Vauncey> It can be difficult to keep track of all these people

<HollyhockGod> You have not! That you know of.

  • Sarabande examines the cooperation between Defile and his brother.

<HollyhockGod> Although you're vaguely aware that he's the Dominus of Awareness.

<HollyhockGod> Sarabande: It appears that Bright Defile is the practical one and that his brother Kalifriki is a dreamer who must be kept in line with beatings.

  • Vauncey downs the rest of his tea in a hurry and sets the cup down. Ahh, it's a bit hot still. "Ah, well, it was good catching up, then. Whenever you're ready!"

<HollyhockGod> "I suppose we may as well go and find him."

<HollyhockGod> He pulls a grandfather clock out of his hat. "Here, you can have this. But first let's walk through it.

<Sarabande> "Of course."

  • Sarabande spreads out into a travelling cloud, rather than the tea party configuration.

<HollyhockGod> He opens the case and gently eases his way inside, then shuts the door. He shouldn't really fit in there, but does.

<HollyhockGod> Welp, he seems to be gone.

<Nomen> "Right…Maybe we should get someone to carry the clock. Sarabande, can you get that ruby collar? I guess we syhould go home"

<Sarabande> "We believe he wished us to also enter the clock."

<Darryl_Collins> "That reminds me, Nomen, that honey you ate is a little bit cursed with introspection. So if you feel odd, that's probably it."

  • Sarabande opens the front and sends a couple of scouting bees in.

<Nomen> "I have no idae what is intro suspection"

<HollyhockGod> There appears to be clock inside.

  • Darryl_Collins closes the clock door to see if the scouting bees vanish.

<HollyhockGod> They do!

  • Vauncey looks from the clock back to the group. "Ah, I believe we're supposed to go in. We'll sort it out on the way back." He holds up a finger and lowers his voice. "Now remember, if it's nefarious, do try to be polite."
  • Vauncey steps into the clock boldly!

<Sarabande> HollyhockGod: We now canonically have two very confused and stupid bees wherever the clock sends them.

<Nomen> "Well, we could bring all of this stuff with us to the Chancel, THEN enter it"

  • Darryl_Collins politely closes teh clock for Vauncey.

<HollyhockGod> Nomen wonders what the difference between good and bad is.

<Sarabande> 's a bond!

<HollyhockGod> Vauncey disappears!

<HollyhockGod> Vauncey reappears inside a large observatory, somewhere in… somewhere.

  • Vauncey observes!

<HollyhockGod> Bright Defile is being stung by stupid bees.

<HollyhockGod> "Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!"

<Nomen> "Well, it appears we two are left. Who goes first?"

  • Darryl_Collins follows Vauncey in.

<Sarabande> "We shall head through, it would be unfortunate if our workers were doing something antisocial."

<Nomen> "Go ahead, I'll close the door for you and then follow"

<HollyhockGod> It appears that your workers are doing something antisocial.

<HollyhockGod> Meanwhile, after Nomen closes the door, the clock wraps itself up in gift paper and flies away!

<Nomen> "…Well, I can live with that."

<HollyhockGod> I guess it was set to deliver itself after being used four times.

  • Sarabande reestablishes communication. The workers stop and flutter sheepishly.

<HollyhockGod> Nomen is left alone in the past, forever.

<Nomen> I magic myself some standard size looting bags

<HollyhockGod> "Fffank eww".

<HollyhockGod> Bright Defile has been given the gift of twice as much face as usual.

<Sarabande> "We apologise for our workers' indiscretion."

<Sarabande> Can Domain: Bees remove bee sting consequences?

<HollyhockGod> "Issh mown falfor enjown suplize pip."

  • Nomen starts looting everything he can get his hands on

<HollyhockGod> You could probably remove bee venom?

<Sarabande> What size of miracle's that?

<Nomen> "Wonder if someone can tell me the way to Gilgamesh's vaults"

<HollyhockGod> (And that is why the Hanging Gardens of Babylon do not exist in the modern Earth.)

<Darryl_Collins> "Wait. Why didn't Nomen come through?"

<HollyhockGod> Lesser Destruction.

<HollyhockGod> "Snuzbut?"

<Sarabande> thaaaat's 5, right? totally worth 4 miracle points.

<HollyhockGod> It is difficult to understand the Power of Gifts, because his face is swollen.

<HollyhockGod> 5 it is.

  • Sarabande performs the Dance of Negation and removes the venom from the Power of Gifts!

<Sarabande> A kind of gift of absence, if you will.

<HollyhockGod> You gently remove the venom from his face. The swelling goes down a bit.

<HollyhockGod> "How kind of you! Have a magical geranium!"

<HollyhockGod> "Anyway, this is my brother's room. He's up there."

<Vauncey> I like this guy, he is very good-natured.

<HollyhockGod> He points upward.

<Vauncey> Even if he turns out to be secretly evil I think we should be friends.

<HollyhockGod> Up towards the sky there's a similar-but-less-young guy hanging in the air in a vaguely mystical fashion.

<HollyhockGod> "Now we have to get his attention by yelling and throwing things. As we speak, he is aware of the entire universe and all the things in it."

  • Sarabande flies up. "Hello!"

<HollyhockGod> "From that awareness, he has derived a prophecy which he believes you must hear!"

<HollyhockGod> "…but he's probably not paying attention to us right now."

<HollyhockGod> Indeed, Sarabande's words go unheard!

<Darryl_Collins> "Very well. I should have just the thing in my briefcase."

  • Darryl_Collins opens his briefcase and retrieves a party grenade, which generates enormous quantities of startling congratulatory sound and streamers.
  • Vauncey cups a hand at his cheek and calls up. "I say there, lad, are you with us?"

<HollyhockGod> "…"

<Sarabande> One of Sarabande flies right up to his ear and buzzes in the most annoying fashion manageable.

  • Darryl_Collins primes the party grenade and hurls it upwards at the man.

<Nomen> Do the Hanging Gardens have something like, Primal Lions?

<HollyhockGod> Yeah, probably.

<HollyhockGod> There is a party explosion!

<Nomen> I'm gonna loot some Primal Lion cubs thenb

<HollyhockGod> Dancing girls spin out from behind pillars, music plays obnoxiously, and strobe lights strobe. Also there is a bee buzzing.

<HollyhockGod> It does not help.


<Sarabande> The whole swarm bend their efforts!

<Sarabande> And miraculous power!

<Sarabande> (Superior Swarm of Bees, Aspect 3-but-I-think-2-is-relevant-here for being /the most annoyingly insistent-sounding swarm of bees a swarm of bees can be/)

<HollyhockGod> Okay, but what song?

<Vauncey> "Ah well, I suppose we can give it a try." Vauncey digs through his pockets for something to throw, then settles on throwing his wallet, which has enough weight to be good for throwing but not so much that it would cause injury.

<Vauncey> «ooc: Aspect 2 miracle for 5 intention on waking this guy up without hurting him by beaning him with wallet »

<Vauncey> «ooc: that is a rather complex intention but we live rather complex lives. »

<Sarabande> Flight of the Bumblebee is traditional.

<HollyhockGod> Kalifriki is bumblebee'd and wallet'd at the same time!

<HollyhockGod> It is sufficient to attract his attention.

<HollyhockGod> He stops hovering and falls to the floor, several stories beneath you.

<Vauncey> Vauncey peers down. Does he seem okay?

<HollyhockGod> Well, I guess he isn't dead.

<HollyhockGod> "Are you all right?" calls Bright Defile. "Have a parachute!"

<HollyhockGod> He tosses the parachute down, where it smacks his brother in the face.

<HollyhockGod> "Auuuuuuuuuuuu," says Kalifriki.

  • Sarabande goes to provide bee assistance.

<Nomen> next, a First Aid Kit

<Nomen> But I'm not tehre, I'm looting ancient babylon, so I can't give suggestions

  • Vauncey springs down, gracefully descending several stories and landing in a crouch. He offers Kalafriki a hand. "Sorry about that, chap."

<HollyhockGod> "Auuuuuuuuuu."

<HollyhockGod> Or maybe it was "oooooooommmmmmm."

<HollyhockGod> "I think he's still meditating," says Bright Defile. "Let me get my gun."

<Sarabande> !

<Vauncey> Hmm, I'd just as soon he not get shot. Do I know any secret techniques for waking people up?

<Sarabande> "Hmm."

<HollyhockGod> Is there such a thing as a sleep tax?

<HollyhockGod> I know there's sleep debt.

  • Sarabande tries creating a Cooperation in which we make him aware that we're here, and he shares the knowledge he wanted to share.

<Darryl_Collins> I certainly feel as though there's sleep tax.

<Sarabande> Sleep debt is a thing!

<HollyhockGod> Oh, I guess that works.

<HollyhockGod> He starts up!

<Vauncey> Hooray!

<HollyhockGod> "I'm awake, I'm awake! I knew you were there the whole time."

  • Vauncey calls up to Defile. "I think we've got it sorted, no need for the gun."

<HollyhockGod> "I was just, uh… resting my eyes. On the infinite! Yeah!"

<HollyhockGod> "Now, who are you again?"

<HollyhockGod> Defile clubs him on the head with a laser pagoda.

<HollyhockGod> "You're supposed to tell them about the prophecy!"

<Sarabande> (they're just like normal pagodas)

<Sarabande> (only with lasers)

<HollyhockGod> "…what prophecy?"


<HollyhockGod> More clubbing ensues.

<HollyhockGod> "The tax prophecy! About the taxes! HOW CAN YOU KNOW EVERYTHING AND BE SO DUMB!"

<HollyhockGod> It's all very embarrassing for you.

  • Darryl_Collins nudges Vauncey.

<Darryl_Collins> "Are prophecies taxable?"

<Vauncey> Let's ask the GM!

<Nomen> (how much looting did I do?)

<HollyhockGod> You could institute a tax!

<HollyhockGod> Nomen has acquired a vast amount of loot.

<Nomen> Okay, I guess I filled my looting bags. Nomen is gonna try his trick with Black holes to create a worm hole to time travel

<HollyhockGod> Now he is accosted by an army of angry guards.

<Vauncey> "Not generally," answers Vauncey. "They were at one time, but it was repealed some time ago in order to incentivize foresight."

<HollyhockGod> Nomen: How does that work?

<Nomen> Create a Black Hole. Create an Anti-Black Hole. Let them feed on each other, and see if it creates a WORM hole

<Nomen> Prefentially, one that he can createa a specific destination to

<Sarabande> do you want the actual physics answer? :-)

<HollyhockGod> Oh, okay.

<Nomen> Physics don't work on me

<HollyhockGod> You open a hole in front of you.

<HollyhockGod> And another…somewhere? Probably the future?

<Nomen> If I can get to that place where the rest of the party is

<Nomen> hmm, maybe not a good idea, I probablty need to leacve to get some food soon

<Nomen> The future works

<Nomen> I go through the worm hole

<HollyhockGod> Nomen enters the black hole and vanishes from the reckoning of gods and men.

<HollyhockGod> "Oh, right, the tax prophecy," says Kalifriki, elsewhere.

<HollyhockGod> "Well, I foresaw that one day, you'll collect a tax larger than Creation itself.

<HollyhockGod> "And that will be bad."

<HollyhockGod> "So… don't do that."

<HollyhockGod> Bright Defile clubs him. "That doesn't explain anything!"

<Vauncey> "Hmm. But you saw that we would do it, right?" He holds out a hand to stay Bright Defile.

<HollyhockGod> "…that makes my head hurt, man."

<HollyhockGod> "I just wanna be at one with the cosmos, not explain the workings of paradox space."

<HollyhockGod> "Just… don't tax anything larger than your head, right?"


<Sarabande> "Which head? All of our heads simultaneously?"

<Sarabande> "Our heads are really quite small."

  • Vauncey nods thoughtfully. "Yes, of course. Well…can you tell us anything else that might be helpful, or give us an idea of the timeframe?"

<Darryl_Collins> "Oh, well, I think we can solve this one right now."

  • Darryl_Collins amends the Regulations to forbid the collection of any tax debt which exceeds the value of Creation.

<HollyhockGod> "Like… maybe there's going to be a second sun? Or… a hole in the sky? I dunno."

<HollyhockGod> "I just see stuff. Like… all the stuff."

  • Vauncey strokes his beard. "Mmm, I see. Well, thank you for bringing it to our attention! If you remember anything else, here's my card."
  • Vauncey presses a business card into his hand.

<Darryl_Collins> "I can't help but think that this sounds like Nomen."

<HollyhockGod> "Yeah, man," says Kalifriki, and sinks back into enlightenment.

<Nomen> (Nomen? ACtually taxing things? Nonsense)

<HollyhockGod> "Well, that was disappointing," says Bright Defile. "Please, have some candy."

  • Vauncey backs away in case Kalifriki wants to levitate again, and exchanges a glance with the others. "No, no, that's good information. Every little bit helps, and all. Thank you for alerting us! I'll be sure to get back to you about the internship, one way or another, but it may take a little bit — very busy now, as you know."

<HollyhockGod> "Always glad to help," says Bright Defile, taking advantage of your step backward to give his brother a few more drubbings on general principles.

<HollyhockGod> "I do hope your brother isn't lost too badly."

<Darryl_Collins> "I hope he's not in an inhabited area."

<Vauncey> "Ah, well, these things have a way of working themselves out," Vauncey says. "I'm more concerned about what he's gotten himself up to."

<HollyhockGod> Indeed, indeed.

<Vauncey> «ooc: this is another situation where it would be useful to have the power of death here! »

<HollyhockGod> You emerge from the Chancel of Gifts and Awareness to gaze upon the ruins of civilization!

<Sarabande> "Gosh."

  • You are now known as RandBrittain

<Nomen> Totally not my fault

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